Funny Bone How to Do the Rain Dance
- Sport
This was published 11 years ago
Instructions on how to do a rain dance
By Andrew Wu
Memo all Australian cricket fans. Before heading to work or school today, take a few minutes out of your day to perform a Native American rain dance. The steps are simple. The nation will thank you.
1. Find a large open area where you feel inspired and comfortable to dance (alas, Australian cricket stadiums no longer qualify).
If the dance doesn't cut it, maybe animal sacrifice is the last resort. Or (below) there's always an early present from Santa and his mates. Credit:Reuters
2.Decide on your Native American rain chant. It should be rhythmic and easily repeated. ''Oi oi oi'' does not count.
3. Now comes the athletic component. Raise your hands to the sky and spin in a clockwise direction, chanting softly. Close your eyes, feel the wind at your face and soak in the atmosphere. (Much like Phil Tuffnel under the high ball).
.
4. Gradually spin faster while chanting louder until you are spinning as fast as you can and yelling at the top of your voice (Tuffers again).
5. Continue as long as you please before stopping abruptly and dropping to your knees.
Refrain at all costs from spinning anti-clockwise and chanting backwards as that makes rain go away. (Warning: Do not tell English associates of last sentence.) Courtesy ehow.com.
$501 odds
IT'S time for Dennis Lillee and Rod Marsh to dip their hands into their pockets. Australia yesterday hit a ridiculous $501 with Centrebet to claim victory in Adelaide. That was the price bookies were offering for an England win after the third day of the Headingley Test in 1981 when the Poms were 1-6, still 221 behind after following on. Cheekily, Lillee and Marsh both placed small wagers to highlight the folly of having a 500-1 shot in a two-horse race. Of course, Ian Botham hit an unbeaten 149 before Bob Willis, with England defending just 130, bagged 8-43 to propel the hosts to an unlikely 18-run win.
We can't watch
AUSTRALIANS don't like to see a thrashing, and that was reflected in the weekend TV ratings. The cricket, the 12th-most-popular program on Sunday with 655,000 viewers, still out-rated the V8s on Channel Seven (421,000, 27th) and the Australian Open golf championship on Channel Ten, but numbers were lower than the week before. The Saturday audience dropped 30 per cent compared with the first Test in Brisbane, and was down 12 per cent on Sunday as Ricky Ponting's attack copped more stick from the Poms. ''Australians want a good contest,'' says television analyst and forecaster, Steve Allen, from Fusion Strategy. ''But they switch off if they don't have a chance of winning. For nearly all international sport, Australians won't watch a cakewalk and really turn off if their team or individual is getting a pasting. You need a real contest to get big numbers.''
DRS for ODIs
CRICKET Australia will decide in the next fortnight whether the decision review system will be introduced in this summer's one-day international series against England, but the signs at this stage are not promising. The International Cricket Council last week paved the way for its use in ODI series before the World Cup but while Cricket Australia is ''keen in principle'' it appears time is the enemy. ''We're not sure whether it will be feasible at this short notice. We need to talk to the telecaster, the players,'' said a Cricket Australia spokesman. ''We'll probably have an answer in the next one or two weeks.'' Channel Nine's executive cricket producer Brad McNamara told The Tonk during the Test ''as far as I know there are no plans for a decision review system in ODIs this summer''. The Australian Cricketers' Association, however, is right behind the idea. ''I think the majority of the players, particularly the captains will have had experience during Test cricket but I can't see the down side to bringing it in prior to the World Cup,'' said ACA chief Paul Marsh.
Shaky appointment
GEOFF Lawson is one step closer to coaching Kochi in next year's Indian Premier League after the competition's governing council reinstated the franchise. But the former Test paceman is still awaiting news on whether the team, which was thrown out in late October over its ownership structure, will honour its handshake agreement with him. A board meeting this week will determine his fate.
Tweet of the day
''hey mate what do you think ? Should I think about a comeback … To surfing ??? Hahahahah''
SHANE WARNE dashes the hopes of a nation.
Most Viewed in Sport
Loading
Source: https://www.smh.com.au/sport/instructions-on-how-to-do-a-rain-dance-20101206-18muh.html
0 Response to "Funny Bone How to Do the Rain Dance"
Post a Comment